When Life Doesn't Make Sense

Our home group has been studying the book of Genesis. We recently studied chapter 22, where Abraham is called by God to travel to Mt. Moriah to offer up his beloved son. Abraham had waited many many years for this promised child. Now God was asking him to do the unthinkable. I cannot imagine that Abraham didn't have some questions for God. Why God? Will You pull through if I obey? I am obeying in faith- but none of this really makes any sense! After all, Abraham was human. And unlike us, he didn't know the end of the story...

Our family is standing at a new crossroad as well. My husband (and the amazing father of our large brood) is being called to work away from home 28 days at a time. Like Abraham, I am full of questions. Why God? Will You pull through if we obey? We are stepping out in faith- but none of this makes any sense at all!  

Over the past few weeks the tears have fallen freely. My heart aches as I think of being separated from my best friend. I don't look forward to having to do life "alone." No-one can get our 2 year old to fall asleep as quickly as her daddy. No-one is as good at grilling burgers or unclogging toilets (which happens a lot with 8 girls in the house!). I feel sad at the missed times of worship together, as well as the missed anniversaries and birthdays that are sure to come. With another baby on the way, life can feel very overwhelming. As I spent many many hours reflecting on the why's of our life, the Lord flooded my heart with Scripture, quietly and gently reminding me of His promises. Promises I can cling to and believe, even when life doesn't make sense...


Isaiah 55: 8-9 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."

These verses remind me that God knows the big picture. Right now I can't see the forest through the trees, but I can rest assured that God is on His throne, and He knows full well what He is doing! This season in life could be a stepping stone to something much bigger. I can trust Him completely.

2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

No matter what lies ahead, God's grace is sufficient- it is enough. It's so easy for my frail, human mind to think that I know better. God promises to be strong when I am weak.

Isaiah 40:31 "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."

My strength will be renewed by waiting on the Lord- and this is to be a continual, habitual, daily occurrence. He will help me to continue on and keep me from weariness and fainting.

Isaiah 41:10 "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

God wants me to remember that He is always with me- I have nothing to fear! He is my God and I am, along with each of my children and my husband, in the palm of His hand. He promises to hold us up. Isn't that amazing?

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."

It's often hard to be still and wait for God's leading. God cannot lead if I am always hurried and rushing here and there, always responding to the pressures around me. He desires for me to be wanting Him, waiting for Him and willing and available for Him.

Psalm 31: 14 & 15 " But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord, I say, 'You are my God,' 
'My times are in Your hand...' "

I have to daily purpose in my heart to trust in My God- not in my feelings, circumstances or emotions which are always changing and often fickle. All of my life's why's and when's and where's are in God's hands- I will choose to trust in His goodness.

Psalm 9:2 "I will be glad and rejoice in You, I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High."

I think this verse (and many other verses in God's Word) speak about my attitude, especially in setting the atmosphere of my home. I must choose to be joyful, to rejoice and sing God's praises. This trusting, joyful attitude is what my children need to see in my home. Here is where I often fail miserably- but with God's help, it is an area I desire to grow in. There is no room for self-pity!

I Thessalonians 5:18 "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Anne Voskamp's book has taught so many of us to count God's blessings in our lives. It is so easy to look at all of the bad things in life which bring grumbling, complaining and discontentment. When we obey God's Word and begin to be truly thankful in everything, our whole perspective on life changes. I can grumble that my husband is always gone and that I have to do all of the work by myself- OR I can be thankful that I still have a husband, that he is willing to work hard to provide for us and that he will home for 2 weeks at the end of each rotation- and that's 20 weeks off every year! I am also thankful for modern technology that allows us to communicate rather quickly, even with so many miles between us.

Already my husband has made an impact with his co-workers. Before each meal, he takes off his hard hat, bows his head and thanks his Heavenly Father for his meal. He observed that he now sees at least half a dozen other men bowing their heads and praying as well before the meal. He is also known for always being positive, joyful and ready to work (even if it's doing something other than his job description). The other day a man came up to him and asked him what made him so happy all the time. He said "Whatever you are eating, drinking or smoking in your room- I want some of that!" My husband went on to explain that it is because he is a Christian and has Jesus living in his heart. He went on to give this man the gospel and invited him to also give his life to Jesus. This man, although intrigued, said he believed he was telling the truth, but wasn't sure he was ready for that kind of commitment. Maybe these are the very reasons my husband is working away- to be a witness of His Savior to those who maybe have never been confronted with the gospel or met a real Christian. I am so thankful that he is living out the Great Commission right where he is...

I don't know what tomorrow may bring. I also don't know what you may be facing right now. But it is likely that you also have a situation that may just not make any sense. It may be a wayward child that should know better, the loss of a parent or husband which happened rather suddenly. It may be an accident that left permanent damage or a recent prognosis from your doctor. It may be the pain of not having children. I know of several friends currently dealing with the sadness of a loved one taking their own life. Whatever your circumstance, you can trust God's promises! They are available for you to claim and cling to when life doesn't make any sense...

I have always loved Corrie ten Boom's poem "Life is but a Weaving..."

My life is but a weaving

Between my God and me.

I cannot choose the colors

He weaveth steadily.

Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;

And I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper

And I the underside.

Not ’til the loom is silent

And the shuttles cease to fly

Will God unroll the canvas

And reveal the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful

In the weaver’s skillful hand

As the threads of gold and silver

In the pattern He has planned

He knows, He loves, He cares;

Nothing this truth can dim.

He gives the very best to those

Who leave the choice to Him.

Celebrating Every Life

I can clearly recall the excitement that our first baby announcement brought 21 years ago. Everyone was thrilled beyond words. Why is it that baby number 1 is welcomed with so much fanfare? Maybe even baby number 2, especially if it’s the opposite gender of the first. A few people are comfortable with number 3, but that’s generally where it stops. How are subsequent babies any less the wonderful and amazing creations of the living God?

I speak from firsthand experience how devastating the remarks can be of other people, especially Christians, when announcing another pregnancy. Really, Christians of all people should be those that rejoice at the promise of new life, not scorn it like it is something to be ashamed of. After all, I am happily married and allowed to have children!  God is the one that has formed a life that can only come from Him. Anyone who knows the pain of miscarriage or the ache of barrenness will acknowledge that life is not something they can control. Why then should many children be viewed in a different light?

We live in a day when children are no longer viewed as a blessing, but a burden. Babies make you lose your figure, forego your free time, lose all of your savings, and maybe even your sanity! It just isn't responsible to keep having children. I know, I've heard all the arguments. Many of my children weren't “planned” by me. They may have come at an inconvenient time in my estimation. But do you think for one minute that God made a mistake? God never has to say, “Oops, I didn't mean to make that one.” Instead the Bible affirms that He thought of each one of our children before they were even formed in the womb (Psalm 139).

I have been tempted to hide my last few pregnancies with those outside my immediate family. Ironically, our children are always ecstatic at the news of another baby. So although each new little one doesn't receive much excitement from those outside of our home, each additional baby is more loved because there are so many open arms and hearts waiting to embrace them inside our home.

Mothers, we shouldn't fear what those around us say when we announce another pregnancy. It is a shame that others cannot share in our happy news. It seems much easier for them to feel sorry for us or make nasty remarks. I know, I have been at the receiving end many times. But as I grow older, I am learning to be bolder and to share how children are indeed a blessing, no matter what the circumstance you find yourself in! I’m also learning that you can never encourage another mother enough when she is pregnant. She needs to hear that she is beautiful, that the sickness is all worth it and that she is doing the most important job ever, even when it's often hard. The last thing she needs are rolling eyes or unheeded advice... 

I am so thankful that God has chosen to bless us with 10 beautiful children and the anticipation of another precious life on the way. Is it always easy? Definitely not. Are my pregnancies always painless and trouble free? Umm, hardly. Does it cost money? Yup. Is it a sacrifice? You bet. Would I do it all over again? Absolutely! Every life is worth celebrating. Baby number 4 or 5, 9 or 10, 13 or 14 shouldn't be any different than the first time we announced a new baby! It is time for us to value life for what it is- a beautiful gift from God.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward."

Psalm 127:3

Life Around Here

It’s been several years since I've managed to get a Christmas/New Year’s letter out. I thought I would post a little update here on how everyone is doing. So here is a summary of life around here...

Laina just turned 20 this week- the first to make it past the teenage years and onto the other side! She worked 2 jobs this past year saving up for school, often putting in over 60 hours per week. She was accepted into the Center for Massage and Natural Health in Asheville, where she will be starting in early March. She is looking forward to this new chapter in her life and we are excited for her to practice her new found skills on us! We still have a lot of details that need to work out over the next few weeks- most importantly securing a reliable vehicle and a place to live that won’t break the bank. What a comfort to know that God knows all the answers and we are excited to see what He has in store for her. Of course, our entire family will miss her- and maybe she will miss all of us just a little as well :)

Cort turned 18 last week. He is in his second year working as a full time mechanic for a large landscape company just down the street. He is finishing up his schooling and will be graduating in May. He works on the side fixing cars and welding, which is his number one love. He is planning to get his certifications as a welder and hopes to pursue a job in that field of work. He also bought a motorcycle this past year and loves to ride. We are especially grateful for all the work he does maintaining and fixing our vehicles!

Rylie is 14 and started high school this year. She loves photography and started a little business named Whimsical Photography this past year taking individual and family portraits. She hopes to branch out into fashion photography as well in the coming year. She also joined our local newspaper’s Teens & Twenties column as one of the photographers, and also occasionally writes for them. She enjoys reading, dance and decorating. She is also our number one babysitter as the older ones are usually at work. She really misses her bestie who moved out of the area this past year, but hopes to visit her in the coming year. She is eagerly anticipating taking driver’s ed this coming year- driver #3!

Elise recently turned 12. She is Addie’s second mommy and is a tremendous helper. She loves all things pertaining to animals and is excited to be riding horses again, although this time English! She persuaded us into getting a hamster, and although the little fur ball is super cute, she runs on her treadmill ALL NIGHT LONG! Elise enjoyed taking a fashion class this past fall at a local co-op and loves to draw clothing designs as well as nature pictures. She is our avid bird watcher and can often be found photographing birds up and down our lane.

Luke and Edmond turned 10 in November. I hate to lump them together, but they invariably do the same thing- so I’d end up repeating myself. They diligently take care of the animals- all of the chickens, the dogs and the cat. They enjoy wood-working, watching big brother fix things and spend hours and hours building with legos. They enjoy learning anything to do with science and are excited to take classes at our homeschool co-op where they are learning Brain Games and French.

Ashlyn is 7. As the oldest of our “little” girls, she is a big helper. She loves taking ballet. She also enjoys cooking and helping in the kitchen as well as doing crafty things. She is my errand companion and is always the first to volunteer to go with me.

Eva recently turned 6. She finished her Brain Balance therapy back in April and we are just thrilled with the “new” little girl that has emerged! She tested around age level in most areas, even testing at an 8 year old level in auditory processing. She continues to grow and mature, is halfway through her Kindergarten math and is well on her way to learning how to read. What an amazing difference to the little girl we had just a year ago! She is full of wit and is a lot of fun to be with. We are thankful for her willingness to help and her sensitive and caring spirit.

Haven is 4 and is also doing some school work with the big kids. She enjoys drawing and coloring and playing outside. She also loves animals and hopes to someday ride horses like her big sister Elise. Haven is our comedian and has a comical way about her that endears her to us. She loves story time and to snuggle with whoever is willing.

Addie remains our baby, although she is 2. She is extremely loquacious for her age and has no trouble keeping up with the gang. Although she loves to play with her siblings, she also plays tremendously well by herself. It took having 7 daughters to finally have one that loves to play with dolls. She keeps our family going with her sweet disposition and her adorableness.

My amazing other half continues to work hard to support our family. This provided its challenges this past year, but I so admire his tenacity and creativity to keep moving forward, despite all of the obstacles that seemed to constantly get in the way. He has had the opportunity to travel around the country, to Canada and to the Caribbean several times in 2014. He was asked to meet with key government people in the islands and even had a 2 hour meeting with the President of one of these islands to discuss economic growth and development.  Although we don’t know what will be the outcome of these meetings, we know that God has our future in His hands and we are His instruments if He chooses to use us in any way in the Caribbean.

And then there is me- I am so thankful to be a stay-at-home mom that gets to be involved in the lives of this crazy, big family. This is my 15^th year home schooling, and this is the first time we have joined home school co-ops. My kids are really enjoying their classes and I especially like the extra accountability it gives my older ones to stay on top of higher math and sciences.  I spend a lot of time driving kids places as well as a lot of time in the kitchen preparing everything from scratch. This year I have continued to learn how to make things grain free and I love trying out new recipes. I am also doing a home-study on essential oils and hope to pursue a certification in aromatherapy in the coming year, emphasizing oils used for pregnancy, labor and delivery, as well as newborns. 

We enjoyed a quick (and snow-filled) trip "home" to NJ with Thanksgiving. It was the first time most of my husband's family got to meet our 2 littlest girls, and we also got to meet a few cousins (nieces and nephews) that we had not yet met. Here are Opa & Oma with most of their grandchildren. They have 33 grandchildren and one great grandson (4 were not able to be there, 1 is in heaven, and 1 is overseas serving in the military)...

Eva & Opa became fast buddies!

The cousins enjoyed spending time together...

We have much to be thankful for this past year, including many of our friends, both new and old,who have prayed for us and supported us in so many ways. What a privilege to be part of the body of Christ and to see God's love in action! It is our prayer that all who are reading this will know God's amazing presence and provision in the year ahead. Happy 2015!

Mom Turns 70!

My Mom, better known as Oma  (the Dutch word for Grandma) turned 70 in May. The whole family came together to celebrate this special occasion. We celebrated the event at Mike and Judith's beautiful new home. And after some very hot and humid weather, we were blessed with perfect weather- 70 degrees!

My mom loves to cook and have people over. So it was fun to let her be on the receiving end for once. We came up with a simple make-ahead menu: mustard baked pork-tenderloin, potato salad, green bean salad with balsamic vinegar and shallots, homemade rolls, a large garden salad and watermelon. Dessert included strawberry shortcake (with freshly picked berries), key-lime tarts and chocolate mousse cups.

                                     

We decorated with miscellaneous painted jars filled with fresh flowers in a grey and yellow floral theme. The kids sat outside on the deck.

The grandchildren made special pages as a keepsake for their Oma- pictures, sayings and poems to honor her. We also sang her favorite hymns together and read Psalm 90, a Dekker family tradition recited at birthdays.

Seventy used to seem so old. But somehow when your parents reach that age it no longer seems so far away! How quickly life moves along... "So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90: 12).

                                                      (group picture taken by Bill Cerynik)

"Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her: many daughters have done well, but you excel them all."

Proverbs 31: 28 & 29

Falling In Love All Over Again

For five years I longed to understand my little girl. I remember holding her little head in my hands and pressing my head close to hers and crying out to God to get through to her. I knew she was a special gift from God, and yet I longed to know what was troubling her. Why couldn't she formulate sentences properly? Why did she fall apart when we took her out in public? Why couldn't she show and receive affection? Why did she continue with odd behaviors despite my best efforts to lovingly correct her? Although at times we saw small glimmers of hope, it wasn't until just recently that we made a major breakthrough with Eva. I hate to use the word "normal," but that is how I would now describe my sweet little girl. Going through the Brain Balance program has made Eva a normal, better functioning little girl.

Eva just completed the extensive Brain Balance program. In my previous post (here) I shared about the Brain Balance program and some of the things we did with Eva. In this post I want to share some of the positive changes we are seeing and should continue to see in the weeks and months ahead.{You can read more about our journey with Eva here}

One of the first changes we saw in Eva was that she began to show a lot more affection. All of the sudden she loved to give and receive hugs! In one of her first sessions she was sitting on Dr. Jackson's lap in Brain Balance and she turned around and gave her a kiss.This was after having a really hard time going to her sessions. Now she loves to snuggle on our laps and no longer minds having her back rubbed, her teeth brushed or her hair done- which were always a fight with her. She also now spontaneously will tell us she loves us, adding "with all, all, all my heart" or "very, very, very much!" After so many silent years, this alone makes Brain Balance worth every penny!

I mentioned around Christmas time that Eva finally began praying on her own. We have our children pray around the room before they go to bed. Although Eva always wanted to, she could never formulate her own prayers. One day she said a few short lines in the form of a simple prayer. She repeated this same prayer for several weeks. Then she began to pray her own prayers from her heart. And wouldn't you know it, she now asks to pray when someone is hurt or sad with  "Do you want me to pray for you?" I love my little prayer warrior!

On our way home from Brain Balance on Saturdays we go right past Trader Joe's, my favorite place to shop. Eva has never done well inside stores and so I was hesitant to take her. But the practical side of me realized I couldn't pass this exit 30 minutes from my house without stopping in! At first Abe and I would take her together. Slowly she was able to go shopping with just me while sitting in the cart. Then one day she announced she didn't want to sit in the cart. I was hesitant to let her down, but she did perfectly well. She didn't wander off and I didn't have to chase her! She now pushes her own little kid's cart and fills it up with "her" special foods and bags them at the end! That may not seem like a big deal to most parents, but this was a huge milestone for our family. She has even gone on "dates" with her older siblings recently and did really well. This shows that her brain is finally able to handle all of the stimuli around her.

We are learning that Eva has a wonderful sense of humor! She loves to tease and is really a lot of fun to be around. I would never have said that one year ago... Eva was a lot of work and tired us out- but today she is truly a delight. God is so good!

The last few weeks Eva is constantly singing. I think her brothers would like her to stop singing the ABC's, because this is her all-time favorite. I love to hear her sing a chorus she learned at church and also hears on the radio- "I need you, Oh I need You, every hour I need You. My one Defense, My Righteousness, Oh God how I need You." Just the way she pronounces "defense" and "righteousness" makes my heart melt every single time. And what an awesome reminder of how we need God every hour of every day!

Last May Eva tested way below age level. Although she was 4.5, she was functioning at a 1 year old level in most areas. She struggled to remember her colors, letters and numbers. Now she is blowing me away with her desire to learn! I recently ordered her her own set of school books and she is so excited to be doing school along with the big kids and loves her phonics and math. She still often writes words and numbers backwards, which is not uncommon... and I'm okay with being 24!!

In the beginning Eva was unable to tell me what she was doing in her sessions at Brain Balance. I would ask questions and get a nod here and there. The last few weeks she would get in the car and chatter away in the back seat about Miss K, her special glasses that she has to wear and what she did that day. Her brain can finally process and verbalize what she is thinking. Yesterday, after going to the feed store with her daddy, she came home and told me all about the cute little chicks she saw there (and wanted!)- it was so sweet!

Eva has never done well with strangers. Recently I've seen her waving at people in the store and saying hello to friends and family. I've also heard her introduce herself several times with a "Hi, I'm Eva!" She now has a ready smile and I think she may take after her father in the friendliness department.

Other changes we've seen...

• listens better
• is more focused
• happier, more even-keeled disposition
• keeps herself occupied better
• understands sequence of time better
• can sit through a chapter story book and enjoys it
• loves to draw and color- and both are improving
• can reason with her 
• speech has improved
• shares with others willingly
• interactive play with her siblings- this has been a huge blessing!
• stronger body, less floppy in her core
• is no longer clumsy or runs into things
• enjoys smells and can inhale deeply
• very little to no drooling
• sleeping better on her own
• more helpful with chores and things around the house- volunteers to help!
• improved fine-motor skills
• less tantrums and when she does get upset, it resolves quickly
• quicker to confess she has done something wrong and to say sorry
• tolerates long car rides, where in the past she often got car-sick

All of these changes (and I'm sure there are more) were beyond any expectations we ever had for our daughter. I am so grateful for the wonderful staff at Brain Balance who went above and beyond the call of duty. Eva really struggled with being cooperative in the beginning and yet Dr. Jackson and the staff persevered, using creativity to combat the challenges and never gave up (even when I was ready to call it quits!). They truly love the children they work with and pour themselves into the kids. I will forever be thankful for the work they did that caused us all to fall in love all over again with a little girl we always knew was there, just waiting to come out.

I am also so grateful for my family who drew together to see their sister succeed- for my girls who gave up a year of dance, my middle children who spent hours keeping Eva company and occupied on the long drives back and forth to Cary, for my older children who juggled work schedules to be home with the little ones and who put dinner on the table many nights, and for a husband who never stopped encouraging me even when the days were long and hard. Eva is so blessed to have so many cheering her every step of the way!

Last, but certainly not least, I am so thankful for my in-laws who took a leap of faith and invested in their granddaughter. May the Lord use your investment in her therapy to continue to produce much growth in Eva's life!

Eva Goes To Brain Balance

Eva with her main coach, Miss K

April is Autism Awareness month. All of us probably know a family that has been impacted by autism. Although almost unheard of just a decade ago, it is estimated that 1 in 150 children are somewhere on the autism spectrum disorder today and those numbers continue to climb. In this post I want to share how Brain Balance has helped our daughter, Eva, who was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) which is on the ASD. {You can read about our journey with Eva here}

While studying autism and talking to others about it, I felt overwhelmed by how many different therapies we would need to employ to get our daughter the help she needed. Mainstream treatment utilizes various therapeutic approaches that seek to improve the problems associated with the child's development and behavioral problems. There are behavioral therapies, occupational therapies, social skills therapies as well as language/speech therapies and all of these require daily or weekly sessions. I am so thankful that a friend told me about Brain Balance. Right from the start I felt like the staff understood what was going on with our daughter and they were confident that they could help. For the first time in Eva's life, we felt hopeful.

What is Brain Balance? Brain Balance is the groundbreaking program for children with Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia and other Neurological Disorders. The majority of professionals today don't take a whole body approach to seeking a solution to childhood neurological dysfunctions. Instead they focus and treat each individual condition, focusing on things like attention, learning, socialization, tics etc. Dr. Melillo, the founder of Brain Balance, however, looks at all of the body systems involved, not just the brain...

“These disorders may manifest with different symptoms but they are really one and the same problem; a brain imbalance. There is even a name for it- Functional Disconnection Syndrome, meaning areas in the brain, especially the two hemispheres of the brain, are not electrically balanced, or synchronized. This electrical imbalance interferes with the ability of the two hemispheres to share and integrate information, meaning the brain cannot function as whole. The result is that a child with a brain imbalance has normal or even unusually good skills associated with the higher-functioning area or side of the brain, and unusually bad skills associated with the underactive area or side of the brain. The problem seems to come about because one side of the brain is maturing at a faster rate than the other. As the child develops, this imbalance becomes more significant and the two hemispheres can never fully function as one. The brain is functionally disconnected. Fix the disconnect-that is, get the immature side of the brain to catch up to the other side-and the symptoms go away. So does the disorder.” (taken from Disconnected Kids by Dr. Robert Melillo, page xi)

What the Brain Balance program endeavors to do is stimulate the slow side of the brain to develop properly without affecting the other side. This is done through daily sensory, physical and academic exercises that are selected to target the troubled areas. These exercises work at eventually integrating the two hemispheres of the brain, getting them synchronized. The popular approach today is to work on the child's strengths, which constantly makes the already strong side of the brain stronger. This is really causing the weaker side to become weaker and is in essence making the problem worse. Brain Balance does just the opposite- it focuses on the "broken" side, or weaker hemisphere, to catch up to the stronger side. 

Part of the program includes limiting screen time of all sorts- including TV, movies, computers and other electronic devices. All of these produce a slowing down in the brain. Thankfully we don't watch TV and Eva wasn't exposed to computers or other electronic devices very often. We really tried to limit her movie time to one a day, if any at all. Ironically, most of these children have an amazing aptitude with the computer. Whenever Eva got her hands on someone's phone or iPad, she just seemed to know what to do! The tendency for parents, then, is to allow their child to spend hours on the computer, because their child is brilliant with one. But this really hampers the weaker side of their brain even more and ultimately accentuates their problems.

Another big component is diet. All children that enter the program are sent for blood work to test for food sensitivities. Although we are all familiar with food allergies which can cause things like hives and breathing problems, food sensitivities can come on slowly and produce symptoms that can cause behavioral problems. Food sensitivities produce inflammation in the body, so eliminating the food culprits will reduce the inflammation, heal the gut, and ultimately help the brain to function properly. I wasn't too worried about Eva's blood test because we had already eliminated both gluten and all dairy from her diet and seen great results. Boy, was I in for it! Her tests revealed over 36 foods that she was sensitive to! This showed that food was also playing a major part in Eva's behavior. On the list were things she consumed almost daily- bananas, garlic, vanilla, onions, strawberries, rice, limes, cocoa, tea, egg whites, soy, chicken, turkey, beef, pork and many others. She could, however, eat shrimp, lobster and oysters- although I don't know too many 5 year olds that like those! To say I was overwhelmed, was an understatement. Thankfully I had several sessions with a nutritionist as part of the program, and she helped me figure out a balanced diet for Eva. I learned how to make things out of garbanzo bean flour and how to make carob chips from scratch! Eva cooperated amazingly well and we are slowly incorporating some of the foods back into her diet. Part of the diet also includes adding probiotics, healthy fish oils (which Eva still dislikes) and digestive enzymes to aid with digestion. As I've mentioned in a previous post, it is vital that these children are on a whole-foods diet, free of sugars and artificial sweeteners, additives and preservatives.

We did many things to stimulate Eva's brain to allow it to catch up. Eva had a right brain weakness. Children with a right brain weakness don't feel their bodies very well. This shows up in the way they walk and they are often clumsy and fall and bump into things a lot. They have poor gross motor skills including balance, rhythm and coordination. They struggle with non-verbal skills, have poor social interaction, and are often impulsive, anxious and display poor attention. Children with a right brain deficiency have immune systems that are in overdrive- their immune systems speed out of control and remain in defense mode often causing allergies, asthma and/or chronic food sensitivities. {Left brain weaknesses show up with different symptoms, which I won't go in to- but Dr. Melillo's book Disconnected Kids does an excellent job explaining all of this}

Eva did lots of exercises to strengthen her core and to help her become stronger, both during her Brain Balance sessions as well as at home. Every movement we make stimulates our brain! We also really tried to increase aerobic exercise with the mini trampoline, playing outside and even doing workouts with mom.

They did a lot of visual therapy during her sessions to improve Eva's eye movements. I also work with Eva several times a day using finger puppets to encourage her eyes to track properly. This was probably the hardest thing for Eva to do and she really resisted these in the beginning. Her eyes tired quickly. It still isn't her favorite, but she has improved so much. I now see her glancing sideways using only her eyes, which she couldn't do in the past. She still is unable to cross her eyes which is supposed to be the last exercise she will master which also requires the most muscles to perform. (Incidentally, our eye doctor never caught on that Eva had huge visual processing issues).

We also did daily smelling exercises. I never realized that she had trouble inhaling properly to smell. She has a bin full of spices and essential oils that she loves to smell. We also regularly applied peppermint oil to her right shoulder to stimulate her brain. Do you know that there are certain areas of the brain that can only be stimulated by smell? (As the daughter of a perfumer, I find the sense of smell fascinating!)

Music therapy was another aspect of our daily routine. Eva has her own playlist of music that is geared to stimulating the right hemisphere of the brain using low frequency sound. We cut the wire to her right ear so she would only hear the music in her left ear. Here she is listening to her music while coloring just before bed.

Probably Eva's favorite exercises were the vestibular exercises. In Brain Balance she would spin around in a tire swing and chair. At home we used a bar stool in the kitchen that spun all the way around. Just a few days ago the little girls were dancing in the living room. Eva was spinning around and around- and she never stumbled or bumped into anything! She may just become a ballerina yet!

In Brain Balance they also did academic stimulation with Eva. Here she is holding a chain of her rewards for moving up a grade level in various areas. I think in one area she is even at a first grade level! At home I was finally able to begin working on school work as well. She is now doing Kindergarten workbooks and able to sit through a short chapter book. I am amazed at how eager she is to learn!

We have been so encouraged by how Brain Balance has helped Eva. We have also met other families whose children have also benefited in so many ways. (I haven't met a parent yet who hasn't seen some good results in their child). I have also read dozens of incredible testimonies that all testify of the same thing. Dr. Melillo's book "Disconnected Kids" also has many profiles with amazing stories of how autism and other disabilities have been turned around completely. Most parents are told there is no known cause for their child's problem and, even worse, that there is no cure. But Dr. Melillo says he has seen astounding results with his program. In Dr. Melillo's own words:

"The Brain Balance program is based on my clinically proven findings that the way your child's brain functions today is not necessarily the way that it has to function for the rest of his or her life. My research and the research of others has found that many children can recover from disorders such as autism, ADHD, Asperger's syndrome, dyslexia and others when their unique developmental needs are met and the underlying causes of these disorders are addressed. Even children with the severest forms of these disorders have the capacity to improve behaviorally and academically and learn skills that will enrich their quality of life." (Disconnected Kids by Dr. Robert Melillo, page 5)

In my next post I hope to share the positive changes we have seen in Eva after going through the Brain Balance program...

Real Love

As wives and mothers, we have amazing opportunities to show agape love each and every day. This is the kind of love that gives without demanding or expecting anything in return. It sacrifices. It forgets about self. It is consumed with the well-being of others. It shows love by our actions. And it is often times hard. In studying the well-known chapter of love found in I Corinthians 13, I realized how short I often fall of God's perfect standard.

My prayer is that as women of God we would demonstrate real love more and more- that our families would see more of Christ in how we love.

Love suffers long when things spill, tissues go through the laundry, or the boys forget to feed the dog. It does not lose heart, blow up or become easily offended.

and is kind  it searches for little opportunities to do good, it kisses boo-boos, reads stories, makes a warm cup of coffee. Love is found in uplifting words for the "law of kindness is on her lips" (Proverbs 31: 26).

Love does not envy the mom who's 4 year old is reading chapter books or the woman with a bigger house or the friend with more or less children. It is content with my circumstances.

Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up in my own accomplishments or those of my children, because apart from Christ, I am nothing. Love esteems others better than ourselves (Phil. 2:3).

Does not behave rudely  it doesn't hurt others with my words or actions. It looks my child in the eye and makes her feel important. It cherishes face-time over facebook time.

Does not seek its own it keeps on making meals, washing dishes, folding laundry, and making beds even with little gratitude in return. It delights more in spending time with my children than having "me" time.

Is not provoked when earthly possessions break, jackets get caught on wire fencing, or dirty socks end up under the couch. It strives to give a soft answer (Prov. 15:1) and desires to create a peaceful atmosphere.

Thinks no evil it doesn't recall past failures or rub in wrongs. It repays evil with good. Love doesn't dwell on the negatives.

Does not rejoice in iniquity instead it chooses to think on whatever things are good, pure, noble and of good report (Phillipians 4:8). 

But rejoices in the truth it chooses to believe God's truth, not the lies of the enemy who seeks to bring discouragement and doubt to my home. It gladly speaks of Him who is Truth with my children.

Love bears all things it covers a multitude of sin (I Peter 5:8). It doesn't divulge what shouldn't be said, it doesn't gossip or act like a busybody. It desires to forgive, over and over again.

Believes all things If God's Word says it, her heart believes it to be trustworthy despite what the world may be saying or doing. 

Hopes all things God is her confidence. She rejoices at the future (Prov. 31:25), she is optimistic, smiling and encouraging. "Happy is (s)he who has the God of Jacob for (her) help, whose hope is in the Lord (her) God." (Ps. 146: 5).

Endures all things despite fatigue, discouragement and hard days. Love presses on and moves forward because of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Phil. 3:14).

Love never fails although hard to fathom, even a mother may forget her  nursing child (Isaiah 49:15), but God, who is perfect Love, has promised to never leave me nor forsake me. He always goes before me (Deut. 31:8). I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Phil. 4: 13).