Levi & Ben

Our second set of twins arrived much differently than our first set! At 33 weeks my doctor transferred me to a high risk practice after he was concerned that one of the babies wasn't growing properly. This new group of doctors validated his concern, and so began the roller-coaster of intensive ultrasounds and doctor appointments. The doctors believed there to be some sort of twin-twin transfusion syndrome or at least intrauterine growth discordance. The presenting baby was unusually large for his gestational age while his twin brother was unusually small for his gestational age. The big baby had too much fluid, while the little one barely had enough. The fear was that if this would continue, either baby could die before birth- the bigger baby from toxicity and the little one from not getting enough nutrients and blood flow. In the midst of those stressful few days, the Lord flooded us with His presence. 

Although I was extremely uncomfortable due to the excess fluid I was carrying, I was comforted by the fact that the babies continued to be very active inside of me. We had our bags packed and ready with each hospital visit, not knowing if I would be admitted. 

We had some hard decisions to make in regards to the birthing method, but after much discussion and prayer, we felt that a c-section would be the best for both babies. The day before my scheduled delivery, I went in for my pre-op blood work. When I got there late morning, my blood pressure had sky-rocketed and I was showing signs of pre-eclampsia. It was decided that our babies would be delivered that day. I was 34 weeks and 5 days. I walked into the OR a few minutes after 6:00 pm. At 6:39, Levi was born weighing 5 pounds, 12 ounces. At 6:40, little Benjamin was born, weighing 3 pounds, 2 ounces. Levi was whisked into an adjoining room with separate attendees, while a group of nurses and doctors attended to Benjamin just a few feet away. They were both quickly taken to the NICU, and besides a quick glance at each bundled up baby, that was the last I saw of them for the next 28 hours. 

I didn't do so well with the spinal anesthesia. A few minutes after they administered it, I got the migraine of a lifetime and felt extremely nauseous during the surgery, vomiting almost the entire time. Not how I had imagined the whole thing to go! I developed severe pre-eclampsia during the surgery, and the next 24 hours I was monitored for seizures and put on Mag- Sulfate.I will spare you the details, but it was the sickest I had ever been.

Even though Levi was a good size at birth, he was unable to breathe on his own. He was on CPAP for over a week, along with a feeding tube.He was under a giraffe warmer to maintain his body temp.

Baby Ben was always able to breathe room air, even though he was so small! He also had an IV, monitors and a feeding tube. Because of his birth weight, he was confined to an isolette to maintain his body temp.

Here I am meeting Benjamin for the first time. All the tubes and wires were a little overwhelming. And bonding with these babies was so different than with my others. I never had to change their meconium, nor did I see their cords fall off. I wasn't the one giving them their first baths. I missed those first few days of cuddling skin to skin. Everyday I received a report from a stranger that knew more about my sons than I did! The turning point for me was when Levi first latched on- it flooded me with a love for my sweet boys. Everything was going to be okay. God is good, even when things go differently than we had anticipated.

Ben

 Ben

Levi

We had to maneuver lots of wires and tubes to get the babies in a picture together. This was the first picture of them together...

Baby Ben

Levi means "joined together in harmony." Although there was a lot of 'disharmony' in-utero, our prayer is that these brothers will share a harmony as they grow old together, most importantly, a bond in Christ. Benjamin means "son of my right hand." Our prayer is that Benjamin will be a faithful son even into our old age. Levi's middle name is Leendert, a Dutch variation of Leonard. Leendert was the name of Abe's paternal grandfather who had 11 children, and Levi is our # 11.Benjamin's middle name is Jacob. Jacob was my maternal grandfather's name. He was the father of 12 children, and Ben is our #12. We both come from large Christian Dutch families- what a rich heritage to pass on!

Baby Levi

Both babies were fed through a NG tube. I am grateful that they were able to receive donated breast milk until my milk came in. Kudos to ladies who donate milk to help these sweet babies get the best start in life- what a blessing!! It took over a week for my milk to come in with round-the-clock pumping. Then they were given my milk through the NG tube while I tried to nurse them as well. Levi took right to breastfeeding, but it took Ben a bit longer to latch on. I was able to nurse them for 3 feedings in the hospital during the day and they were given bottles for the remaining feedings. I didn't know it at the time, but they also were adding formula to my breast-milk to give them more calories. The upside- they were gaining each day and meeting the milestones necessary to come home.

After I was discharged, I developed excruciating pain in my lower back and legs, to the point that I could barely walk. I believe it was from the spinal I received as it was just below the region where the needle was inserted. It was hard to sit long days in the same position in the NICU and I became exhausted. The sweet nurses in the NICU warmed up rice socks and made me ice-packs to help relieve some of the pain, but they finally encouraged me to stay home and rest for a few days. It was hard to leave my babies for a few days (and I shed plenty of tears during that time), but I knew I needed to heal. I am SO thankful for my amazing husband who daily went to care for our babies. He tirelessly held them, fed them their bottles, changed them and loved on them. He also prayed daily over each baby while he held each one. On one occasion he had Luke with him. Luke was holding little Benjamin and when he heard his dad pray over Levi, he started praying in a loud clear voice over his little brother as well. So sweet! And I know God heard that earnest prayer of a 10 year old boy for his little brother.

We had some kids with colds back home, but our older twins were well, so Abe took them along for a few days to help hold the babies. They were amazing- spending entire days in one position holding their brothers quietly. Never complaining. That's not easy for boys who normally have LOTS of energy. They were totally smitten with their little brothers. We called it the twin-to-twin infusion.

After 13 days, the babies were well enough to come home. They had maintained their body temp and hadn't had any decelerations in over 48 hours. Ben was 1 ounce away from being 4 pounds, the weight he needed to be to legally ride in a car seat! Levi was back to his birth weight. And we were so excited for them to officially meet their siblings. Life was about to get a whole lot noisier for these little guys!

Having Twins {Again!}

The day of my ultrasound- surprised by my second set of twins!

Some days I still don't believe it's happening again- but we are expecting our second set of twins- twin boys to boot! I found out around the same time 11 years ago, at my 18+ week ultrasound. The ultrasound technician began the ultrasound and immediately we saw the top of 2 heads! And honestly, I don't remember much after that as my crazy brain tried to process that this was really happening! I think I only know 2 other families that have 2 sets of twins, but both of them have fraternal twins. There is a likelihood that our babies are identical again- and the likelihood of that happening twice is 1 in 70,000. Isn't God amazing??

Did I know? Yes, and no. I was suspicious, but I always quickly dismissed my feelings and my midwife didn't seem to think so either. Here are some of the reasons I had a hunch...

1. Horrible morning (all day) sickness- way more than usual
2. Gaining a lot of weight in my first trimester (like 20 pounds!) even though I was eating healthy
3. Varicose veins- I usually have just one that bothers me a little, this time my legs were throbbing (all that extra blood!)
4. Incredible nesting- I felt like I had to clean the whole house before I was 20 weeks, and I pretty much did. I re-arranged rooms and painted and redecorated a bathroom. I instinctively knew that I would have to rest the second half of my pregnancy...
5. Dreams. With my first set I had 2 vivid twin dreams and so I asked the Lord if He would give me another twin dream if I was having twins again. The next morning one of my younger girls woke up and said she dreamed I had twins. I found that interesting, but it wasn't my dream. Then over the next few weeks I had various friends (some I didn't even know very well) tell me they had dreams that I had twins! That didn't seem coincidental...
6. Feeling way too pregnant for how many weeks I was. The night before my ultrasound I was in tears complaining to my husband that I felt 38 weeks pregnant, instead of 18. Yes, when you're pregnant with multiples, all of your pregnancy symptoms are multiplied...

Although I was planning my 5th home-birth (I love my home-births), I didn't feel comfortable pursuing this route with twins, although I did seriously consider it. I am thankful to have found a doctor who is willing to let me try for a natural birth and doesn't automatically insist on a C-section. It will be my first time using a doctor- all of my other babies have been born with a midwife.

However, our second ultrasound did reveal that one of our little guys may not be growing properly. I will have more follow-up testing and ultrasounds to monitor this more closely. I've had a few people scare me and try to put me in panic mode, but I know that God already knows the outcome and we are choosing to trust Him. But prayers are so appreciated, and are very much felt during this time of watching and waiting. 

I am 27 weeks pregnant, and although I feel ready to give birth (ha ha), I am praying that these little guys will make it for another 8 weeks until I am 35 weeks along, or later. I am following the Brewer's Diet (roughly) of 150 grams of protein a day for twins. This is a LOT of food. And with my shrinking stomach it takes a lot of effort to get that much in. I also find that exercising daily with prenatal DVD's really helps me feel better- especially in my hips and back.

Life has definitely slowed down- a lot. Instead of all of the summer projects and activities I had planned, I am spending most of my summer on the sofa with little ones tearing through the house. Although I wasn't placed on bed rest, I still feel best taking lots of rest periods throughout the day. Somehow laying in a horizontal position makes me feel the "least pregnant" and the most comfortable. I decided to tackle our next school year, or at least a few subjects, so we can get ahead and take some time off when the babies are born. Unlike 11 years ago, I am so blessed to have some older girls (15 and 12) to help with housework and cooking- they are amazing! And even my husband came home for good from his work away- God is so good and His timing is perfect. 

And so our incredible journey continues...

A Decade with Twins

Our twin boys recently turned 10! It's so hard to believe how quickly those years have flown by. I had so many apprehensions before they were born- two babies to nurse, burp, diaper and put to sleep. Two babies cutting teeth and fighting colds simultaneously. Two babies to potty-train and teach how to read. But looking back, it was often easier- they learned a lot from each other, and still do.

I was 19 weeks pregnant when I found out I was having twins. And it was kind of by accident. I had been complaining to my midwives all along that I felt so much bigger than with my first four and I was also extremely sick, while with the others I had never experienced sickness. This particular midwife had a set of twins herself and so she nonchalantly suggested that we do a quick ultrasound. She wasn't super familiar with the machine, but thought she could figure out if there was more than one baby in there. And wouldn't you know, she quickly found 2 little bodies in there! Shock- that happens to other people, but certainly not me!

We had to wait an agonizing 8 days before we found out that we were carrying 2 little boys. Of course, we were thrilled, especially Cort, who really wanted some boys in the house. The second half of my pregnancy was much different. I guess that sometimes ignorance is bliss, for now all of the worrying and interventions began. I was now all of the sudden "high risk" as the statistics are high for not being able to carry twins full-term. I had to have monthly ultra sounds, and bi-weekly ones after week 30. I was placed on limited activity since too much activity seemed to bring on contractions. For a while the doctor watched baby B (Edmond) for a heart defect which led to much prayer. God was good in allowing the hole in his heart to close up before birth.

a few days before the twins arrived...

At 38 weeks I was still pregnant. I know that was a good thing, but being pregnant with twins was the hardest thing I have gone through physically. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat due to severe heartburn, I felt like I couldn't breathe as those little boys pressed up against my diaphragm... At 38 weeks I was having some contractions and beginning to dilate. Because we lived an hour away from civilization (in a small town in Montana), the midwife decided to induce me. It was 4 pm and I agreed to the lowest dose of pitocin and my contractions quickly became regular. I was used to natural labor as I had all of my previous babies in a hospital or birth center with a midwife. I was expecting this to be the same. But I was wrong! Lots of monitors- one for each baby and one for contractions. {I never could figure out why we need a computer to tell us when we are going to have a contraction! Um, I will promise to let you know!} I hated that I couldn't move around or take a shower. I knew that all of that confinement was not helping my labor move along. But shortly before midnight I was ready to bring these little guys into the world. To the OR we went (another surprise!), just in-case I needed a C-section. Here I met my back-up doctor for my midwife who was all too eager to section me. My recollection of this woman was her screaming on the phone for an anesthesiologist to come to the room asap to get my babies out. She did not want a natural birth whatsoever. I am so thankful for my amazing husband, who put into practice all of the husband coached childbirth classes I had taught (I was a Bradley Instructor). He continued to help me sit up, despite the oxygen mask and all of the monitors and coached me to relax and breathe easy, even with all of the chaos in the room all around us. (Did I mention that there were at least 20 people in the room by now? Each baby had his own pulmonary specialist, pediatrician, nurse etc. as well as all of the people ready to do surgery if needed). It was all very disconcerting! But looking back, God was so good in allowing our little boys to be born naturally and without any intervention or drugs beside pitocin to jump-start my labor. And that anesthesiologist never did show up! God is so good!

I was ecstatic to be on the other end of pregnancy. Everyone in the hospital seemed overwhelmed for me to have 2 babies to care for and nurse, but I was in heaven! They were healthy and nursed well and I felt great! We quickly fell into a routine. I nursed the babies together for the first 4 months. I used a special twin nursing pillow and nursed them in the football hold. After that they were too heavy to nurse together, so whichever twin was crying would get milk first. During the day, I would have one of the older kids hold the other twin until it was his time to nurse. At night, the other twin was often still asleep. I would wake him up and feed him as well so that I wouldn't be nursing all night. This worked really well and I was able to nurse them for 18 months.

just a few days old, snuggled together in the bouncy seat... 

We have loved having twins. Our boys are identical and they have been inseparable since birth. Even as newborns they somehow scooted next to each other and were happiest being very close together. Now a decade later they still do everything together! I can probably count on one hand the times they have been apart, and it was never voluntary. They share everything. One will never, ever, ever take anything to eat or drink without the other. They take turns sleeping on the top bunk. They still like to wear the same clothes. They have the same cowlick. They wear out their jeans in the same location.They rarely disagree or argue, which is truly amazing because they are literally always together. They finish each other's sentences. They get stuck on the exact same math problems. They stand up for each other and cover each other's back. They will randomly ask me the same question without the other one knowing.They have the same interests and are always eager to learn something new. They are also convinced they will get married on the same day (twin girls, maybe?)...

We are so thankful that God blessed us with these sweet boys. They have big hearts for the Lord and for other people. They find excitement and joy in the ordinary facets of life. I am so excited to see what the Lord has in store for them in the future. Who knows what the next decade will bring?